(Never Too Much podcast: Blow Pop flavors, ranked.)
Thank the Nets and Sixers for not being precious.
Buncha babies before the trade deadline, afraid to hand the the other one a division title, a Finals berth, a championship.
Isn’t that what they have games for? Isn’t that why we do trades? Babies!
Morey and Sean Marks got past it, finally. James Harden to Philly. Seth Curry and the suddenly-available Ben Simmons to Brooklyn plus the Nets get a pair of first-round picks (2022 and 2027) and Andre Drummond. Philly gets Paul Millsap.
Win-win, but the Nets won.
Ben Simmons would have an awfully good time shutting Harden down in a playoff game. Kyrie Irving would grin at earning fouls four, five and six against the 76ers’ leading scorer, Joel Embiid, who wants to dunk Kevin Durant right out of the playoffs because deep in his heart Embiid knows Durant is the only one who truly understands social media, and this bothers Joel.
Beef isn’t complicated, but stews tend to blend. You don’t think you like tomatoes or mush carrots or disappearing potatoes or translucent onions but give it a minute and a loaf of bread and you’re in love again. Brooklyn and Philadelphia have only begun to lend depth to the rivalry.
Don’t call Morey a genius, or Marks anything close. They got together and did what they were supposed to do, which is get us back to basketball.
WHO THE CHAMPS GOT
Serge Ibaka may not cover the space between the ground and the rim as well as he used to but every bit helps. Donte DiVincenzo’s slot in the rotation is the price to pay for needing to win now. Ibaka is not the perfect Brook Lopez replacement but that’s not the point, the point was grabbing what was available at the store with a coupon that was about to become paper.
It’s a noble bid. If Ibaka can’t play, you wonder about his ability to linger in Mike Budenholzer’s rotation a little too long. Also Grayson Allen’s impending increase in minutes is going to try and ruin the playoffs for us.
Adding Daniel Theis (whom Boston snared) would have been nice, but Milwaukee has yet to add its first German player.
PISTONS GET
Marvin Bagley III. Rolling one lottery flyer (Josh Jackson) over for another is perfect.
I don’t look to make Bagley a martyr but Vivek Ranadivé’s Kings are an oral history waiting to happen. Bagley’s stroke is good, he scores and rebounds and doesn’t turn it over. He’s going to do well on a really good team someday.
For now he’s on the Pistons, which tells you that the GMs on the really good teams are content to let this nearly-23 year-old bounce around a few more years. It takes time to sweat out all the Kings Poison.
RAPTORS GET
Thaddeus Young. Bloody bastards.
Pairing a first-rounder with Goran Dragic just to duck under the luxury tax feels like a lot, but there are a lot of books to settle in the rumble of a recent championship season. Toronto already has enough No. 20-ish picks already, it’s time for someone born in 1988 to move a few bodies around.
Seven straight wins and Thad Young. Bloody, bastards.
NETS GET
A championship if they don’t blow it.
The Nets won and won and won. I don’t care if BKN was 13-3 with Harden/Durant/Kyrie, that was 13 hamstring pulls ago.
James Harden will be awesome in Philly but at the moment he was surly and superfluous and throbbing in half his quadrants. Brooklyn dealt him for need and saved themselves from paying James Harden $54 million a year.
Ben Simmons covers all angles, Kevin Durant is the greatest thing I’ve ever seen, Kyrie Irving was always going to outlast NYC’s mandates.
Seth Curry only has to shoot, not make plays. The Nets retained Patty Mills. Also:
Brooklyn will receive Philadelphia's unprotected 2022 first-round pick, with the right to defer it to 2023, as well as a top-8-protected 2027 first-round pick. That pick would remain top-8 protected in 2028, and will turn into two second-round picks -- and $2 million in cash -- if it doesn't convey in either season, sources said.
Ben Simmons has so much time. By April this trade deadline will feel like it took place in 2017.
Now, go whup Philadelphia’s ass in the playoffs.
KINGS GET
Donte DiVincenzo in a Kings uniform might be a blur, done in April, doesn’t matter, the Kings are running for No. 8.
The seed! Not the eighth pick.
With rookie Davion Mitchell bumping butts with De’Aaron Fox, Donte shares minutes and intermittent playmaking responsibility with new addition and All-Around Talented Dude Domantas Sabonis. Not enough to explain whiffing on 2018’s Bagley selection, but at least Donte’s shooting marks roll back to 0-0 on a brand new team.
Sacto also acquired Trey Lyles and Josh Jackson but, again, you thought these individuals were already on the Sacramento Kings.
MAVERICKS GET
Dāvis Bertāns and Spencer Dinwiddie. Once more I assure you these two were not Dallas Mavericks members until Thursday.
The 28-year old Dinwiddie is owed $36.85 million over the next two seasons, he gets to the line half as much as he did in the campaign before his ACL tear, whatever, he’s perfect for the Mavs.
It’s a lot of money not have to play Frank Ntilikina or the mercurial Trey Burke, but good insurance for 2022-23 as Jalen Brunson hits free agency. Dinwiddie in a full training camp trafficking dumb ideas with Jason Kidd could be a lot of fun.
Paying the 29-year old Bertāns $16 million next year and $17 million in 2023-24 is less desirable, even if he will provide Doncic with a few playoff bangers. If Bertāns works 62 games in 2023-24 his 2024-25 contract ($16 million) becomes fully guaranteed, so it’s not like they’re going to be playing this guy in Year Two.
SPURS GET
A first-round pick from the ascendant Raptors, currently slated for No. 20, in exchange for Thaddeus Young.
The Spurs will also receive Boston’s first-round pick, top-four protected, slated for No. 18. Boston sends Josh Richardson (9.7 points in 24.7 minutes with Boston, 39.7 from deep) and the 22-year old Romeo Langford (not so much) to Texas. Boston and Toronto wanted out of the tax, the Spurs will pay Richardson over $12.1 million next year, Langford over $5.6 million.
For this, San Antonio does not pay for Derrick White’s prime (at three years, nearly $54 million).
Goran Dragic was a Spur, briefly, he will be bought out. San Antonio also gave up on Drew Eubanks, Drewbanks, who was waived by Toronto.
I hate San Antonio for never playing Thaddeus Young and then for not sending him to the Bulls for the rights to let the 7-2 Tom Dore have his way with the jamoke who threw bricks at the Wiener’s Circle:
SIXERS GET
James Harden but at age 32.
There weren’t any better offers out there. Simmons and Rivers and Embiid would never align. Bradley Beal wasn’t available and you wouldn’t want that contract anyway. Damian Lillard wasn’t budging from his extension in Portland and neither he nor Beal were ever MVPs. Harden and Embiid is an impossible pick and roll for opponents to do anything with, even while the pair figures out footwork.
The playoffs are in a few months, by spring a healthier James Harden could begin to approximate his MVP-level brilliance. Maybe then those celebrating as if the Sixers just traded for Harden-the-MVP-candidate will gloat in our face, earn the call, make the free throw.
All aggressive, Philly-like. Beginning to understand this deal for Philadelphia.
It’s the Moses Malone trade, but flipped, like they already had MVP Moses before acquiring an aging Julius Erving to put them over the top.
So the Sixers biffed Ben Simmons, it’s not like that guy didn’t totally suck. Embiid and Harden in a possessions contest with a clock will be tough shit to overcome four times in seven.
Losing Drummond hurts, but Doc Rivers absolutely is the coach who would run Paul Millsap important minutes at reserve center in the year 2022. Daryl Morey suits his personnel.
James Harden will play for over $47.3 million next season and then he will sign a four-year, $223 million extension. He gives Joel Embiid his best shot at a championship and Daryl Morey believes his front office can keep this going with Embiid and Harden combining to earn $100 million a season.
With roster spots yet to fill, and Thybulle and Tyrese Maxey’s contracts to extend. With Tobias Harris owed $77 million over two more seasons, listen, I’m going to enjoy watching all this money switch hands to the side of the table that does the most.
Now, go whup Brooklyn’s ass in the playoffs.
WIZARDS GET
What don’t the Wizards get.
Montrezl Harrell, Dāvis Bertāns, Dinwiddie, out.
Kristaps Porzingis in. I don’t know when KP will play next but I do know he didn’t begin conceptualizing his role on an empty stomach:
Porzingis averages 19 and 7.7 rebounds in 30 minutes but his knee sucks. Maybe the Wizards are trying to get Bradley Beal to opt out.
Washington saved some money this season (trading starter Aaron Holiday to Phoenix for nothing) but Porzingis is owed $33.8 million next season and $36 million in 2023-24.
The Wizards also picked up 33-year old Ish Smith, who is not as good anymore and owed over $4.7 million next year.
This is Ish’s second time with the Wizards. He has been on a dozen different NBA teams and that is a record, tied with Tony Massenburg, Chucky Brown, Jim Jackson, and Joe Smith, who are all newsletters written by Kelly Dwyer.
Additionally, I hope Ish Smith breaks the record, because he is my height.
Charlotte also gets rumbly, 20-year old center Vernon Carey. Performed 23 games in two NBA seasons (but it feels like you sat through every one of them).
INDIANA GETS
Spry, bespectacled center/forward Jalen Smith. This guy is fun.
The Suns drafted Smith when he was 20 and understandably ignored his rookie year during a title bid. What’s less coherent is the move to decline Smith’s 2022-23 option not long after that rookie season ended. I understand the Suns often do this,
but this was nuts.
Also, Indiana, you gave up Torrey Craig.
Smith rebounds and crushes around the rim and blocks shots and doesn’t foul a lot. Doesn’t hit threes but tries them and makes three-quarters of his free throws, this is what we call a “burgeoning stroke.”
In four starts with Phoenix this season Smith contributed 17.2 points and 9.5 rebound-averages, blocked four shots, two assists, three turnovers, Indiana, sign him up.
CLIPPERS GET
Rodney Hood. Once a trade deadline, someone has to get Rodney Hood.
It’s all good in the nope not going to.
SUNS GET
Depth: Aaron Holiday is nice, a good fourth guard on a team that doesn’t need one, and Torrey Craig is Torrey Craig. More, good, players.
GM James Jones biffed the Jalen Smith situation but it’s so, so tough to argue with a roster like this.
CELTICS GET
Out of the luxury tax, but also somehow into Derrick White. And didn’t do anything stupid like trade a Celtic-for-life.
White is great, he doesn’t crush from deep but he’ll throw himself around for you and keep it tidy defensively. This is a massive pickup for Boston.
The team also dumped Celtic-for-never Dennis Schröder in exchange for Daniel Theis, a burly addition to a top-three defense that suddenly doesn’t have to worry about covering for Romeo Langford or, less occasionally, Josh Richardson. Theis is under contract for two more years after 2021-22, nearly $18 million total.
Boston also dealt Enes Freedom because he kept showing up on all the TV shows Brad Stevens likes.
HORNETS GET
Montrezl Harrell.
Yes. Winners of the trade deadline.
Bill Russell wasn’t helping this team play defense, might as well shoot for video game stats.
VIDEO GAME SLANDER
I apologize for my cheap crack about De’Aaron Fox in the last episode, I’m sure there is plenty to learn from video games.
To aid in my quest I’ve subscribed to a channel that plays NBA video games from 30 years ago alongside era-appropriate RnB and hip-hop.
BULLS THOUGHTS
They are in the podcast.
I do have other thoughts. Retire Dennis Rodman’s number.
Jae Crowder has been in the NBA for almost a decade, 713 contests, still has fewer career rebounds than Rodman’s 199 games as a Bull.
Of the 420 NBA draft picks dating back to 2015, only two of them (Sabonis, KAT) have more rebounds than “Dennis Rodman as a Chicago Bull.”
Top-five jersey in history, let alone sales. Retire it.
REDUCTIVE POETRY REGARDING LAKERS, KNICKS
James had a hand in Los Angeles' roster construction in the offseason, consulting with Rob Pelinka, Lakers vice president of basketball operations and general manager, on everything from the Westbrook trade with the Washington Wizards to free-agent signings, sources told ESPN.
When sidling up with Thibodeau:
“From my understanding, Thibs didn’t want [Cam Reddish] and they did it anyway,’’ said an NBA source who has been in contact with Knicks brass.
It is derision, mockery, you will sow:
BEST PASSIVE/AGGRESSIVE BITS FROM THE ALL-STAR DRAFT
This is exactly when Kevin Durant realized he was going to be making a statement:
Kevin Durant dryly noting Joel Embiid as “the leading scorer in the league, right now.”
I enjoyed LeBron James calling Giannis Antetokounmpo the try-“hardest-playing player in All-Star history.” My paraphrase.
As an NBA blogger from ten years ago, I took offense to LeBron referring to DeMar DeRozan and only DeMar DeRozan as one of his “favorite players in the NBA.”
On the off chance that you do not know how the draft turned out, here it is, watch it in full without spoilers.
ROCKET 88
What’s better than this song?
If you enjoyed this, consider paying very little money for a lot of NBA basketball:
Thank you for reading, and listening!
Best of the trade deadline