Some of these teams stink (of playoffs)

Sniffing out a postseason outlook for 25 NBA teams

The other five are here.

We can be sure of the handful of Eastern teams making, well, here, let’s do this:

EASTERN TEAMS SURELY MAKING THE PLAYOFFS

Cleveland — on Tuesday evening each Cavalier All-Star point guard ran SMACK into massive 7-3, 300-million pound’ish Washington Wizards center Jonas Valančiūnas. And on Tuesday evening each Cavalier All-Star point guard left the court to be checked to see if their lungs and ribs were still on the sides they should be. Donovan Mitchell and Darius Garland are fine, if unsure of why their quadrants sought relief upside tattooed Valančiūnas’ upper half. The club should return Max Strus and Dean Wade later in December.

Boston — before the end of the December, aided by two meetings the high-paced Chicago Bulls, the 2024-25 Boston Celtics will likely attempt more three-pointers than the 82-game three-point output of the 2007-08 champion Celtics. The 2008 Celtics were 12th in attempts at 19.1 per game, the No. 12 team this season (Sacramento) attempts 34.5 per game.

TIME OUT FOR CLARIFICATION

I love the NBA and think this year is as entertaining as the league has ever been. Sports fans who do not watch the NBA are badly missing out, this shit rules.

When I complain about too many three-pointers, I complain in anticipation of what I think the NBA will look like in a few years, when coaches appropriately demand their players seek out the shot worth an entire extra point. The gradual, Celtics-to-Kings pace we’ve enjoyed since 2008 likely will not continue, thirst for that disproportionate extra point will overcome any rule-change put ahead of it.

That’s the issue. Baskets are worth 1.5 times as many points when attempted from a spot on the where the league’s best shooters hope to hit 40 percent of their attempts. In a few years more than half the teams will average over 40 three-pointers a game.

Several will average 50, and I’m not ready to watch 30 long three-point rebounds bang off the rim and call it a “good” night. Limit it to 33 attempts per team now, watch only our greatest shooters attempt it (to save threes for the game’s clutch moments), watch as others develop more interesting ways to score twos (read: slams, jams).

Orlando — Paolo Banchero is still “weeks” from returning and Magic don’t mind, the team was 3-1 with a fully healthy Banchero and 16-8 in full after hanging on to win on Wednesday’s in Philadelphia.

Early on the morning of Dec. 7, the Magic will fly out of the NYC tri-state area for the first time since traveling on Nov. 28, in anticipation of two games in Brooklyn. The schedule in this span calls for Orlando to perform against the Nets twice, Knicks, and Sixers twice. Limited travel, limited jet exhaust, good work NBA. Now make the whole season like this.