Kiss these tankers goodbye
Washington tried, traded for Kristaps Porzingis, kept on trying.
Portland tanked in winter and spring with swirling gusto but not before outlining playoff expectations in autumn.
Indiana wanted it, so bad, but the rest of the league didn’t want to hand them a 3.4-point handicap.
The Knicks pushed, the Lakers, they fought! So scrappy, but not tankers.
There were four tankers at season’s outset and congratulations to each, the Rockets, Magic, Pistons and Thunder, who never, ever tried.
HOUSTON
HOW LONG HAVE THEY BEEN BAD
The dregs, all season, suffering Jalen Green’s slow liftoff and seven months of Kevin Porter Jr. plus that 1-16 start. The worst winning percentage in the NBA two seasons in a row and it feels like it.
FUTURECORE
The selection of Green No. 2 overall in 2021 was Houston’s first first-round pick since 2015 (Sam “The Don’t” Dekker). Jae’Sean Tate is already 27 in 2022-23 but wing Josh Christopher, earned through the P.J. Tucker deal, is more than alright and only 20.
Kenyon Martin Jr. is a find, two years into his NBA career and nearly two years younger than Kenyon Martin at the age of Kenyon Sr.’s NBA debut.
While we’re here: Kenyon Jr.’s rebounding marks at small forward (6/16/11 off./def./total rebound percentage) fair favorably with his father, ferocious forward/center Kenyon Sr. (6.5/19/12.8 career). Only tri-state area sports radio diehards remember Kenyon Martin producing a single-digit rebounding-rate the first year New Jersey made the Finals.
Houston did wonderfully to lap up Alperen Şengün at No. 15, sending OKC some Washington and Piston picks in return. Houston also sends OKC a first-rounder (1-4 protected) in 2024 and 2026, continuing payment for Russell Westbrook, every chance for that dirtbag owner of Houston’s to explain away a five-year rebuild.
DRAFT PICKS