The NBA's Second Take at 2023-24

What are these standings

Hard to tell, I know, but see if you can spot the “boom” microphone in this image.

The NBA had a problem, outrageous scoring totals, and fixed it. Didn’t change a rule or ask Dr. J. to unveil an amendment during Points of Interest Month on NBA TV, didn’t ham it up, didn’t corn the balls.

The NBA simply went to its refs and said — “listen, dorks, you did exactly what we wanted, called every touch, every block. I know there is a writing and speaking directive to avoid the word ‘you,’ readers and listeners don’t enjoy hearing the word ‘you’ because it sounds aggressive, this is why I’m using ‘you’ with you refs. You did great, now it is time for you to stop calling as many fouls, your fouls, the ones you call” — it worked.

The league, save for everyone being tired or injured and ready for May by late March, is fun.

Even a single-digit decrease in the percentage of paint fouls pleases the eyes. Fewer crash-and-slap infractions are called after three-point shooters stick out chicken wings. Players (capable of adjusting to increased or decreased scrutiny mid-quarter, let-alone midseason) called new plays, globe continues spinnin’ apace until the next Milankovitch Cycle cranks.